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  • Burnt Crunchy BitsLouisa’s monthly pop culture recipe blog
  • Burnt Crunchy Bits – Poké Puffs from Pokémon X and Pokémon Y

    Poké Puffs

    from Pokémon X and Pokémon Y

    by Louisa Herron

    Increase your Pokémon’s affection!
    Increase your Pokémon’s affection!

    For the puffs:

    • 2 large eggs
    • 1 large egg white (save a white when you’re separating the yolks for the pastry cream)
    • 5 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into 10 small pieces
    • 2 tablespoons whole milk (1 ounce)
    • 6 tablespoons water (3 ounces)
    • 1 1/2 teaspoons sugar
    • 1/4 teaspoon salt
    • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour (2 1/2 ounces)

    For the pastry cream:

    • 1/2 cup all-purpose flour (2 1/2 ounces)
    • 1/2 cup sugar (3 1/2 ounces)
    • 4 egg yolks (save one of the whites for the choux puffs)
    • 3 cups milk
    • 2 tablespoons unsalted butter cut into small pieces
    • 1 vanilla bean or 2 teaspoons of vanilla extract

    For the decorations:

    • White candy melts
    • Milk or dark chocolate candy melts
    • Round red candies, such as M&Ms or Sixlets
    • Gel food colorings
    • A few strips of orange zest removed with a peeler, then coated with sugar
    • Sweet: 1 ounce freeze-dried strawberries, ground in food processor
    • Mint: 1/2 teaspoon peppermint extract
    • Citrus: 1 teaspoon grated orange zest, plus 1/2 teaspoon orange extract or 2 teaspoons Grand Marnier liqueur
    • Mocha: 1/2 teaspoon espresso powder (or instant coffee), plus 2 teaspoons cocoa powder
    • Spice: 1/4 teaspoon chipotle chili powder, plus 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon, plus 2 teaspoons cocoa powder
    You could just eat this tbh
    Pastry cream ingredients

    Make the pastry cream

    In a large saucepan, whisk flour, and sugar together. Add 4 egg yolks and a scant 3 tablespoons of the milk, whisk until well combined. Add the remaining milk and vanilla pod (if using). Stir over medium heat until it thickens, you need to stir it constantly or lumps will form on the bottom. When it’s the consistency of a soft pudding, with bubbles blobbing up, remove from heat. Stir in the butter until melted (and the vanilla extract, if you didn’t use a vanilla bean).

    Dip some bread in this for a nice afternoon snack
    Cooking the pastry cream

    Pour the pastry cream into a bowl and cover with plastic wrap pressed down to the surface, to prevent the cream from forming a skin. Refrigerate until cold, at least 2 hours.

    How is "choux" pronounced??
    Choux ingredients

    Make the choux

    Adjust rack to middle of oven and heat to 425 degrees. Line a cookie sheet with parchment paper, set aside. Beat eggs and egg white together in a small bowl and pour into a half cup measure. Discard anything more than half a cup.

    Bring butter, milk, water, sugar, and salt to boil over medium heat in a saucepan, stirring once or twice. When mixture is at a full boil (butter has melted), immediately remove from heat and stir in the flour with a wooden spoon until combined and mixture comes together into a very soft dough. Return saucepan to low heat and cook, stirring constantly with a smearing motion, for 3 minutes. Mixture will be slightly shiny and tiny beads of oil will appear on the bottom of the saucepan.

    I'm saying it like "chooks" in my head but it's probably like "shoe"
    Choux dough

    Remove pan from heat and stir vigorously with the wooden spoon for 30 seconds or so, to cool slightly. Add the eggs a third at a time, pouring in one third, then mixing well, adding another third, etc. When all eggs have been incorporated stir the choux vigorously until thick and sticky, about 30 more seconds.

    Spoon choux dough into a piping bag with a round half inch tip, once all the dough is added to the bag lay the bag on the counter and run the side of your hand along the outside to push all the dough down to the tip. Twist the top of the bag and pipe the choux dough onto the cookie sheet in 1 1/2 inch blobs, you can fit about 24 of these onto your cookie sheet. They’ll have peaks on top but if you dip a finger lightly in water you can easily smooth them into rounds.

    You know what else is piped and smooth? ;) ;) ;)
    Piped & smoothed choux

    Bake the choux for 15 minutes (do not open the oven in this stage- they need a lot of heat to become puffs) and then reduce the temperature to 375 degrees, until golden brown and firm. This should take 10 more minutes but if your oven runs hot like mine, check them after 2 minutes (mine were done then). Remove the cookie sheet from the oven, cut slits in the sides of all the puffs with a small knife to help release steam, and return the sheet to the oven. (Make sure the oven is OFF!) Use a wooden spoon handle to prop open the oven door a crack, and let the puffs dry in the warm oven for 45 minutes. Transfer the choux puffs to a wire rack to cool.

    Maybe it's more like "chow"??
    Baked choux puffs

    Prepare the decorations

    Melt a few candy melts in the microwave and smear a thin layer on wax paper. The spice decoration is dark chocolate cut with a square cutter, mocha is white candy also square cut, mint is white candy melt tinted yellow and cut with a moon shaped cutter, citrus is the sugared orange peel cut with the moon cutter, and sweet is a red M&M.

    Sneak some pentagrams in there too, you know you wanna
    Puff decorations

    Divide the pastry cream among 5 bowls, and flavor each bowl with the extracts and spices listed in ingredients. Mix in food coloring one drop at a time until you get a color you like- pink for sweet (it will already be speckled light pink from the powdered strawberry), green for mint, orange for citrus. You can add brown coloring to the mocha and spice creams but I thought they looked fine without it. Taste the creams and add more flavoring if you like.

    Popular flavors include: Teal, pink, yellowish, and two kinds of brown
    Flavoring pastry cream

    Using a small knife, cut each puff in half (they will be hollow). Melt the chocolate candy melts in the microwave and spread a little milk/dark chocolate on the top half of each puff that will be mocha or spice. Melt the white candy melts in small cups so you can add a drop of food coloring gel once they’re melted, and mix to make the correct colors. Spread the colored candy on the top halves of the puffs- pink, orange, and green. When the candy has almost set, add the decoration on top to “glue” it in place. Let the puff tops dry.

    Add a heaping spoonful of pastry cream into each puff, press the top lightly into place, and enjoy!

    Your fullness has increased by 50, and your affection by +4!

    Notes

    This recipe makes the “fancy” version of Poké Puffs, for the “basic” version you can just leave off the decorations. “Frosted” and “deluxe” look like something you could achieve with colored whipped cream in a piping bag with a star tip, if you’re feeling up to the challenge.

    The decorations for the sweet and citrus puffs look like a tiny cherry and orange slice respectively, so you might be able to find a more accurate solution than I did, maybe with other candies or gummies.

    The plain choux puffs and pastry cream can be made ahead and stored for a few days, but don’t put the puffs together until just before serving or they’ll get soft and chewy.

    If you don’t want to make the pastry cream, these types of choux puffs are often filled with ice cream.

    “Congratulations! Your Eevee has evolved into Sylveon!”

    ― Pokémon X and Pokémon Y

    April 11, 2018
  • Episode 108 – Drunken Cookery

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Episode-108-Drunken-Cookery-Master.mp3

    Podcast (seeing-reddit): Play in new window | Download

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    Please join us for the most us board yet: Drunken Cookery. We chat about video games, like Earthbound and Dragon Quest Builders; it’s a good time, probably.

    Please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast and follow us on Twitter @SeeingReddit or e-mail us at SeeingReddit@gmail.com! Tell your friends if you enjoy the show – we’re always happy to offend new listeners! Our theme song is “Reddit” by Podington Bear, you can find it at freemusicarchive.org. Thanks for coming and keep your pockets on Shrek!
    April 11, 2018
  • Episode 125 – He Went Ahead with Judd Madarang and Hannah Burdge

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/creepypodsta-125.mp3

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    CreepyPodsta: The Creepypasta Podcast gets into some real weird nonsense this week, as Judd Madarang and Hannah Burdge join me to totally dunk on a story by the same author as the actual topic of discussion, He Went Ahead.

    Support the show on Patreon! $1 a month gets you two bonus episodes and one short story!

    Theme music is by Matt Holt

    If you want to be prepped for future episodes, go ahead and read up on Third Parent, Funnymouth, The Children Upstairs, The Showers, Old MacDonald Had A Farm, Huntsville Camping Trip, The Devil Lives on Old Mill Road, I Want To Scream, Jeff Went Left, The Clear Blue Spring, Dining Room or There is Nothing, I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life, Devil’s Night, On A Hill, Cabin Getaway, The Orangutans Are Skeptical of Changes in Their Cages, Arkansas Sleep Experiment, The Separation, Whispers, Dead Arm, Nine Brief Scenes From the End of the World, Graphic Design, Wanna See Me Take It All Off?, If the stars look strange, Autopilot, The Nuclear Incident on Bumblebee Lane, Ben’s Playhouse, Monster in the Forest, The Black Square, Dear Abby

    April 4, 2018
  • Episode 107 – Would You Rather

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/04/Episode-107-WYR-Master.mp3

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    This week’s episode asks one important question: Would You Rather? There’s some chatter in there about comic book horseshit, too. But mostly it’s very serious debates about which awful thing we’d rather do.

    Please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast and follow us on Twitter @SeeingReddit or e-mail us at SeeingReddit@gmail.com! Tell your friends if you enjoy the show – we’re always happy to offend new listeners! Our theme song is “Reddit” by Podington Bear, you can find it at freemusicarchive.org. Thanks for coming and keep your pockets on Shrek!
    April 4, 2018
  • Episode 124 – Let Me Hear Your Voice with Graham Thompson and Colin Parker

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/creepypodsta-124.mp3

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    CreepyPodsta: The Creepypasta Podcast welcome backs Colin Parker and Graham Thompson this week to talk about Let Me Hear Your Voice.

    Support the show on Patreon! $1 a month gets you two bonus episodes and one short story!

    Theme music is by Matt Holt

    If you want to be prepped for future episodes, go ahead and read up on He Went Ahead, Third Parent, Funnymouth, The Children Upstairs, The Showers, Old MacDonald Had A Farm, Huntsville Camping Trip, The Devil Lives on Old Mill Road, I Want To Scream, Jeff Went Left, The Clear Blue Spring, Dining Room or There is Nothing, I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life, Devil’s Night, On A Hill, Cabin Getaway, The Orangutans Are Skeptical of Changes in Their Cages, Arkansas Sleep Experiment, The Separation, Whispers, Dead Arm, Nine Brief Scenes From the End of the World, Graphic Design, Wanna See Me Take It All Off?, If the stars look strange, Autopilot, The Nuclear Incident on Bumblebee Lane, Ben’s Playhouse, Monster in the Forest, The Black Square, Dear Abby

    March 29, 2018
  • Episode 106 – Two Sentence Horror

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Episode-106-Two-Sentence-Horror-Master.mp3

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    For sale: Two Sentence Horror. Never worn. That’s the right way, believe me. We argue about supermarkets a lot and I didn’t listen to the rest of the episode so deal with it.

    Please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast and follow us on Twitter @SeeingReddit or e-mail us at SeeingReddit@gmail.com! Tell your friends if you enjoy the show – we’re always happy to offend new listeners! Our theme song is “Reddit” by Podington Bear, you can find it at freemusicarchive.org. Thanks for coming and keep your pockets on Shrek!
    March 27, 2018
  • Episode 123 – The Bonewalker with Colin Parker and Graham Thompson

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/creepypodsta-123.mp3

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    CreepyPodsta: The Creepypasta Podcast this week is about The Bonewalker. I’m joined by fresh faces Colin Parker and Graham Thompson.

    Support the show on Patreon! $1 a month gets you two bonus episodes and one short story!

    Theme music is by Matt Holt

    If you want to be prepped for future episodes, go ahead and read up on Let Me Hear Your Voice, He Went Ahead, Third Parent, Funnymouth, The Children Upstairs, The Showers, Old MacDonald Had A Farm, Huntsville Camping Trip, The Devil Lives on Old Mill Road, I Want To Scream, Jeff Went Left, The Clear Blue Spring, Dining Room or There is Nothing, I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life, Devil’s Night, On A Hill, Cabin Getaway, The Orangutans Are Skeptical of Changes in Their Cages, Arkansas Sleep Experiment, The Separation, Whispers, Dead Arm, Nine Brief Scenes From the End of the World, Graphic Design, Wanna See Me Take It All Off?, If the stars look strange, Autopilot, The Nuclear Incident on Bumblebee Lane, Ben’s Playhouse, Monster in the Forest, The Black Square, Dear Abby

    March 22, 2018
  • Episode 105 – Yu-Gi-Oh!

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Episode-105-Yu-Gi-Oh-Master.mp3

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    It’s time to duel! Yu-Gi-Oh! I guess. Learn about Super Smash Bros. and which dragons we know about in our worst episode ever.

    Please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast and follow us on Twitter @SeeingReddit or e-mail us at SeeingReddit@gmail.com! Tell your friends if you enjoy the show – we’re always happy to offend new listeners! Our theme song is “Reddit” by Podington Bear, you can find it at freemusicarchive.org. Thanks for coming and keep your pockets on Shrek!
    March 20, 2018
  • Episode 122 – It’s Not Just The Dark with Mike Cole and Shane Kellen

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/creepypodsta-122.mp3

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    Mike Cole and Shane Kellen return to CreepyPodsta: The Creepypasta Podcast to talk with me about It’s not just the dark….

    Support the show on Patreon! $1 a month gets you two bonus episodes and one short story!

    Theme music is by Matt Holt

    If you want to be prepped for future episodes, go ahead and read up on The Bonewalker, Let Me Hear Your Voice, He Went Ahead, Third Parent, Funnymouth, The Children Upstairs, The Showers, Old MacDonald Had A Farm, Huntsville Camping Trip, The Devil Lives on Old Mill Road, I Want To Scream, Jeff Went Left, The Clear Blue Spring, Dining Room or There is Nothing, I Dared My Best Friend To Ruin My Life, Devil’s Night, On A Hill, Cabin Getaway, The Orangutans Are Skeptical of Changes in Their Cages, Arkansas Sleep Experiment, The Separation, Whispers, Dead Arm, Nine Brief Scenes From the End of the World, Graphic Design, Wanna See Me Take It All Off?, If the stars look strange, Autopilot, The Nuclear Incident on Bumblebee Lane, Ben’s Playhouse, Monster in the Forest, The Black Square, Dear Abby

    March 15, 2018
  • Episode 104 – Imaginary Characters

    http://media.blubrry.com/creepypodsta/www.weaponizedlanguage.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/03/Episode-104-Imaginary-Characters-Master.mp3

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    We explore an actually kind of cool subreddit this week: Imaginary Characters. We dish out some Super Mario facts, some Pac-Man facts, and some questionable woman facts.

    Please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast and follow us on Twitter @SeeingReddit or e-mail us at SeeingReddit@gmail.com! Tell your friends if you enjoy the show – we’re always happy to offend new listeners! Our theme song is “Reddit” by Podington Bear, you can find it at freemusicarchive.org. Thanks for coming and keep your pockets on Shrek!
    March 13, 2018
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